Heaven better be what God promises. Because I am starting to think this world kinda sucks.
Jayden has a double ear infection and must have had a stomach bug. Brooklyn is on her third double ear infection, and I was hosiptalized for the 'stomach bug" and am still under the weather. I am not even healthy enought to take care of my sick kids. I am starting to get a bit bitter and defeated. Let me tell you....I want more than anything to not feel this way and will fight it...but it is the little things that now feel so big and it just seems like it hasn't stopped since October. I try to remain positive, realistic, but really?! As soon as I feel up for air, I get dunked. I definately think it borders on depressed. I know that I am just going to have to do so soul searching. But, I am tired and trust me, God knows it. It is so hard to do God's will when you can't seem to hear what is true and are discouraged in even asking when it appears He sends mixed messages or is just silent. I am trying to wrestle with this. I believe in God. No Question. But a loving God? This doesn't feel like love to me.
