May 30, 2012: morning before meeting Elliotte

It’s 5:18 am. I woke up having contractions on the day I am scheduled to be induced. Funny. I couldn’t sleep very well and had a bit of an emotional breakdown before going to bed. I will admit I am nervous. Nervous for labor and the pain, nervous for seeing her, and nervous that she may or may not have Sanfilippo. I am fearful of the unknown, and in typical character form, I just need to know. I will deal with whatever the outcome, but I just need to know. I have spent most of my pregnancy just surviving the pain and discomfort that I am nervous to actually face the ramifications of what has been growing in my belly….a baby. I still have questions that are silly….like how am I gonna do 3? Will I love her like I love Jayden and Brooklyn? And I know the answers…yes I will and I will do what needs to be done to do 3 kids….God willing. So, as I write, I continue to contract. I continue to believe and hope in God and His eternal promises and all the stuff I have written about this new life….and I continue to be human and a bit anxious. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22