1.25.2011

Angel Bee


Tonight we went to a Zion Benton High School Varsity basketball game. It was sort of last minute but my father-in-law has been extremely proactive in the last week to promote the Pepsi voting project. He has gotten the text number (text 105582 to 73774) on marquees around town and pulled some strings at Zion and we quickly became tonight's half time show.


The people at Zion are awesome. They are like family to us. We have so many people that have been spreading the word it is amazing. We also have a huge texting base with the high schoolers. One girl told me that she takes her parent's phones and has programmed a daily text reminder! They also are wearing t-shirts and bracelets to promote voting. But even more special to me personally, I had a "moment".


You know, one of those moments in your life you will never forget. It was simple but couldn't have been more special. My sweet baby Brooklyn was a bee this October for Halloween so the costume still fit and the Z-Bees needed a mascot. I got her all dressed up and we headed to the game. We all had purple on with my little bee in yellow and black, with pretty purple beads on. I made the bow with antennas.


At half time, we proceeded onto the side of the court. As I tried to get signs for everyone, t-shirts to throw out for the cheerleaders, and a big banner, Brooklyn was wiggly. I fumbled and decided I would put her down. At this time, the announcer began reading about texting and voting, explaining a bit about their diagnosis. Our family held signs with the number on it. And as I was taking in the moment, I watched my little bee, fearless, walk to the center of the gym. Hundreds of people in unison "awwwwed" and this little, innocent, bee in the center of the gym smiling and hamming it up. She stayed there and danced around, glowing. I didn't want the moment to end. There was not an eye in the place that wasn't on Brooklyn and she loved it. The announcer ended and people texted. But in that "moment" time stopped.


As a mother, one of the hardest things to let go of were dreams (or expectations) that I had for my children. They were worldly, and I have found a place, for me personally, that I know they were not right to have in the first place. I dreamt she would get married and have kids, go to prom and drive a car. I had dreams that she would get good grades and have friends. I dreamt we would laugh and argue together as she made her journey through life. The other secret dream I had was that she would wear a uniform and be a dancer or cheerleader. Silly now reading my dreams. None of which had any eternal value. At all. So the lesson I now know is that stuff really doesn't matter. REALLY.


My dreams look a bit different now. I want most of all for Brooklyn to feel loved and accepted-which is really the motivation behind all my previous dreams, but it just looks different. Way different. I feel like in that moment tonight she was shining. She was showing how beautiful SHE is. She had a moment in the spotlight. No one making fun of her. Everyone loving her innocence and her basking unashamed at who she is. I guess, in that same gym in 15 years, she may not get that moment to fly in a cheerleading routine, or take the floor for her half time dance. She may be on the side, even getting laughs or stares. But not tonight.


I was proud. I was happy. Happy that in THIS moment, she was shining and for all the right reasons. Not a selfish bone in that little body. Talk about crowd participation. Talk about joy.
A beautiful soul from heaven. Both of my children have not be poisoned by this world in many ways. They are the blessed ones. They will never be a part of this world and for that I am grateful.


Hebrews 13:2 talks about entertaining angels and I am beginning to think that I am raising 2.


1 Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters.[a] 2 Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! 3 Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies. HEBREWS 13:1-3 NLT